Babies are Evil, Aren't They?
by xoxo-simmy
Summary: A normal romantic night in between Atobe and Jirou... Until babies are mentioned and things get kind of abnormal... twoshot.
1. Chapter 1

**A.N.:** Simmy's miserable attempt at NOT writing a one-shot! Yay! It's short, atrociously short, but I tried and I like it. As usual, excuse the horrible title and summary. Please enjoy, and remember to review!

**Prompt:** Babies.

**Word Count:** 174.

**Warning/s:** I consider this very mild crack. Fluff is present. I think that's all.

**ato.ji.xx.ato.ji.**

"Keigo-chan," began Jirou, "are you secretly female?"

Atobe glared at the boyfriend nuzzling against his neck, offended. "Is Jirou making fun of Ore-sama?" he demanded, receiving an innocent look from Jirou.

"No... Why would I be making fun of Keigo-chan?"

Atobe sighed, deciding his boyfriend was a mere buffoon (yet somehow loveable despite it).

"Then why do you ask?" He decided he would sip his tea and hope a drop of the hot liquid would land on Jirou.

"I wanted to have a baby," Jirou said solemnly. Atobe nearly choked on his tea. "But since we're both men, we can't have one..."

"Why don't you worry about marrying someone, be it male or female, before you worry about having children, ahn?"

Jirou nodded. For a while, he was quiet. Atobe assumed he'd drifted off to sleep, which was no wonder when it came to the Sleeping Beauty of Hyoutei.

"So, then, will Keigo-chan marry me?" he asked, looking up with big eyes and a cheesy, almost pleading grin.

Atobe was not sure how to proceed.

**ato.ji.xx.ato.ji.**

**A.N.:** Part two of two, coming soon! I'd appreciate getting at least _**five **_reviews before I update! Also, who would you prefer as 'bride' in the hypothetical Atobe-Jirou wedding? I've written two endings to this two-shot, so if I get more reviews for _Jirou_ as bride, I'll post that version. Majority rules, so if you don't get yours that's why. So now it's important for you to review! You have incentive! Now _**review!**_


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N.:** Part two, version two. Enjoy!

**Word Count: **257.

**Warning's.** Crack, naturally. Sad Jirou. Atobe's ego, I suppose. Possible OOC-ness. Fluff, I guess. I think that's it.

**ato.ji.xx.ato.ji.**

Atobe was very, very thankful for his quick-working mind. He came up with responses--albeit ones he didn't like--but they were responses just the same, and better than staring at Jirou in shock.

"Does Jirou ask simply because he wants a baby?"

Jirou's grin wore off of his face, and he looked upset. "No... I love Keigo-chan, and Keigo-chan said I should worry about marrying before I worry about children and now I want to marry the man I love..."

Atobe's brain wasn't quick-working enough, apparently. Upon hearing the reasoning, it kind of shut off on him, his inner Romantic squealing like his many fan-girls.

"Does Keigo-chan not want to marry me?" Jirou asked, pouting. "Does Keigo-chan not love me?" At that, tears rushed to Jirou's eyes and threatened to spill out.

"That's silly," Atobe said, struggling to speak coherently. "Of course I love you, Jirou."

Jirou's spirits greatly rose as he exclaimed, "So Keigo-chan will marry me?"

"No," Atobe said. Jirou looked as though death were staring him in the face. "Ore-sama will not be the bride; Jirou will be the bride. Jirou will have to marry Ore-sama!"

Jirou grinned wildly at his–fiancé? "Of course I'll marry you, Keigo-chan!"

For a while, it returned to quiet. Atobe was thankful. He himself started dozing off as he assumed Jirou had, to share some fantastic dream of a wedding to make history.

"So, does this mean we can have a baby someday, Keigo-chan?"

Atobe Keigo did not believe he would be able to sleep for a long, long time.

**ato.ji.xx.ato.ji.**

**A.N.:** Not multi-chaptered, but with alternate endings! Woo, I feel special. I hope you enjoyed. Please review with anything you want to say (that includes words, as I got a puzzling review of what I assume was a face...) be it criticism, flames, requests, jibberish, whatever.

Actually, I may add on to this–tell me if I should write a companion fic about Jirou's struggle to have a baby or not. Also, if you have any ideas you're welcome to tell me. Oh, and a wedding might help. Ideas are now flowing, so tell me what you'd like!


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